What is life really worth?

Yesterday I got an opportunity to visit SEAL ashram. SEAL is an NGO dedicated to the mission of rescuing destitute and helpless people from the streets and railway stations of Mumbai. As it was Labor Day, some of the youth from our church decided to labor at the ashram and take this opportunity to share our love with the people there. The overall experience was quite overwhelming, heartbreaking, disturbing and liberating at the same time. If anyone of you think your life is worthless and not worth living, I suggest you make a trip to SEAL. You will learn to value your life more than ever.

We left town at about 6am and reached the SEAL ashram, situated in Vangani Village (a little ahead of Panvel) by 8am. We collected about 25 bags of used but clean clothes and toys and 50 Kgs of wheat flour, 30 Kgs of rice, 30 Litres of Oil, 30 Kgs of Onions 30 Kgs of Onions among other necessary items. We started our day by cleaning up the inmate's room and bathing them. It took us about 2 hours to complete the assigned task. we were done by 10am and settled down to have breakfast. After the breakfast we met with the kids. We played a few games with them and watched them entertain us with their dancing. Later we gave them all gifts and presents.. We bought them stuff that they can use when their school reopens. It was nice to see them all smile and happy & excited to get their presents all wrapped up in glittering papers.

Though I had a great time with all the kids, there was this one particular kid I got very attached to. While I was with all the other kids, there was this one kid who silently held onto my hand. He was unusually quiet for most part of the time. But when he got his present, he came to me and asked me what is this? I told him to unwrap the present to see what it is. But he still requested me to open it up for him. I saw how he had one of his eyeballs popping out of the socket. I asked one of the other guys if this guy could see properly. And the boy said, "Uncle usko Dikhta nahi hain, woh sirf mehsus kartha hain" (He can't see things, he can only feel them). So I unwrapped the present for him and my heart sank when he asked me what it was. It was a drawing pad with colorful alphabets on the reverse side of the pad. I didn't have the heart to tell him what it was. But I had to tell him. I told him its a drawing pad. And he could use it draw whatever was in his heart. Whatever he felt, he could give it life on this pad. The boy smiled at me but I knew how he really felt. So I called my brother and asked him if we had a replacement. It was good we had a little pouch, like a compass box. I gave it to him and told him how he could store whatever he wanted in it. He was quite happy and gave a nice genuine smile this time. The kid just continued standing there, holding onto my hand.

At the moment, I began to wonder how awful would it be to be blind, to live a life in total darkness. I tried to shut one of my eyes to see how would the world look to me if I was blind by one eye. It was very awful and discomforting. I don't know how a 10 year old boy could manage it. But it just made me value my life a lot more. Here are some of the pictures from our trip. These are just some of the better pics, didn't want to put the disturbing ones.

Just another passing thought...

Just the other day while I was taking shower there was these series of thoughts that flashed across my mind (Nah!!! it's not what you are thinking) and just then it kinda paused on this one thought.

When God made all the creatures of the land and the sea, He made them in pairs - male & female. Then why did he not make Adam with a woman, why did God wait until he realized Adam is lone? Did God not know that Adam would be alone? He created all the other creatures and knew it wouldn't be nice to leave them alone and hence got them into a pair. Why did he create Adam alone?

So this is just my thought, I don't say this is what God probably thought (if He did the same way then I would be God). Well I think, like we all know everything else was made by just commanding over them to be, And they were formed. But with Man it was little different. He said, Gen 1:26 "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness". He probably said that to Jesus and the Holy Spirit who was with him even before the creation. The catch-phrase is he wanted to make us in his own image. And he created us a little lower than Himself.

I guess he wanted to be our sole lover. He wanted to be a passionate lover. He wanted to just gaze at his this beautiful creation. Just watch him when he was walking in the garden of Eden, sleeping peacefully, playing with the animals or eating.. or whatever it be. I guess He wanted to be the only person in the whole world who wanted to express his love for his son. (Now I know what the Bible means when it says, Our God is a Jealous God). But Adam couldn't understand this, cos he wanted someone of his own type. And hence God had to make Eve, a perfect pair for Adam.

So many times in our life, we make all the wrong choices in life and don't care for his love that he wants to shower on us. He really longs to love us and be the sole provider, but we just never seem to understand him...

Something To Think About :)

The last few days have been crazy... to begin with our Internet connection had work had a problem and hence could not surf the net for almost a week. And then I was down with Flu and that sucked more. But in the midst of all this, i came across this very beautiful note my friend Tracy pereira wrote on her Facebook profile which really blessed me, so I thought about blogging it here.

Tracy, this is 100% un-adulterated content... just the way it is... ;)

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Somethin to think about :)

Friday, July 3, 2009 at 5:07pm

Someone sent me a FB quiz this past week about "what bible character would you be " and it was funny coz the same week, a kid at school asked me the same question...." if you could be most like one of the characters in the bible Ms. Tracy, whom would you wanna be like...and why. Jesus is not allowed as your answer coz everyone should be like him and I know you will say that"...

KIDS and their questions! You can never escape them. Yeah and he was right coz I was gonna say that ;-) KIDS! :D I thought that was pretty interesting and I've never given it much thought before...Anyway, I was dumbfounded and didn't really have an instant answer and neither did i wanna answer that question without giving it some thought......coz I wanted to know too, "What bible character I would wanna be most like and why". So I told the little kid that I would get back to him soon. "Once you give your answer, you can't change it, it will be forever and ever..for a million zillion years" he said, before he went out of the classroom. I laughed and nodded my head :-)

Forever and ever..for a million zillion years! Wow now that was huge! What character would I wanna be like forever and ever?! I came home that evening and for some reason I couldn't concentrate on anything. I kept making lesson plans for class the next day, watching tv, munching on snacks, talking to friends, doing my thing...but my thoughts kept drifting back and forth to this one question.

That night, I lay down on my bed and started thinking about all the great characters in the bible I could think of and read or learned about.....umm...maybe I wanna be like David, a man after God's own heart...why did God call him a man after his own heart I thought....he was a sinner, he was not perfect....but yeah because he would do anything for God and god knew that(Acts 13:22). Would I wanna be like David forever and ever? Yeah sure, why not.....but something was missing for me personally.....Let's think about the next character, I thought.....umm..Maybe I wanna be like Esther...it's one of my fav books in the Bible. She was a strong, confident woman of God who stood up for her people and found favor with the king. She was beautiful too! Would I wanna be like Esther forever and ever ...a million zillion years....yeah of course! umm....no...wait a minute Esther is awesome, I thought, but maybe I wanna be like Paul.....whoa PAUL! He was the man! He was a rebel and then he wrote most of the books in the new testament! Kinda cool ...I loved the passion he had for God and His word and I love how he says in Romans that his ambition is to preach the good news where the name of Christ has never been heard rather than where a church has already been started by someone else(Romans 15:20). It's one of my fav verses in Romans. And plus I've been to Ephesus and stood and prayed and worshipped God at the very place he once preached to the Ephesians....Cool...so maybe it's Paul I would choose....hmm...forever and ever...yeah why not?for a million zillion years....yeah totally! But still let me think of more.....umm..Maybe Moses....I would love to have parted the Red sea ;-)...Maybe Abraham.....I SO envy that man...he was God's friend and the father of faith! Wow! Maybe like Steven, or hey even Ruth, or another fav book of mine DANIEL....or maybe like Peter....Gosh so many choices....I kept thinking for so long....So many characters stood out and there are so many reasons why I would wanna be like all of them and I didn't know which one to choose......After what seemed like hours of thinking....lol....One character kinda stood out to me somehow more than the rest! A kinda quiet character who said nothing, preached nothing, didn't perform any miracles......Now I'm not saying that character is better than the rest or anything......It was just a personal opinion.....and somehow when I thought about if i would wanna be like that everyday for the rest of my life ......my answer was Yeah...just like that...i would wanna be just like that......forever and ever?? Yeah I would wanna be like that forever and ever...for a million zillion years? Heck yeah! I couldn't even think of any other character after that...I knew this is my answer....I was SO excited to have finally found my answer...YAY.....i went off to sleep that night and was so happy i thought about that question.....cool stuff.

So the next morning as soon as that kid walked in through that door, he comes up to me and says "So did you think about your answer Miss Tracy? Now remember you can't change it forever and ever even in a million zillion years ...so think properly okay?" I laughed. "So who is it then? Lemme guess it's Eve because she was so beautiful and she was the first woman and she had really long hair and she loved apples" I laughed at his innocence...."No? Oh man! Wait wait...last try..."It's Mary because she was his mother and she would give him timeout when he was naughty and even played with him when he was a baby and he would fall asleep on her shoulders...that's what all moms do" I loved his perspective on Mary :-) hehe. Giving Jesus timeout when he was small! So cute!I never thought of that! hehe...

"Okay okay, I give up , who is it?", he said. I said I will tell him at the end of the class and he can guess some more coz i knew how bummed he was feeling that he couldn't guess it right :-) He agreed.

So at the end of class, the kids lined up at the door and started walking out.....He stood last in line so we could talk.....He stopped next to me and I looked at him and said " A donkey".....he didn't laugh ....He was confused but was waiting for me to continue......"i would wanna be like that donkey that carried Jesus.....here's why....coz just like that donkey...whose very purpose was to carry Jesus...I wanna be just like that... coz my purpose...whatever I do, or say, or sing, or talk, or learn, or teach you guys at school, or write , my gifts, my talents, my skills, whatever I have and whatever I am.....more than anything else, i want it to carry Jesus...to bring him glory...to love him and honor him with a life that pleases him and brings him glory...that's my purpose...i don't care if the world notices what i do or not....it doesn't matter to me...it's not about me.....it's all about Him....and yeah i would wanna be that donkey forever and ever....for a million zillion years...a zillion times over even"

He just kept looking into my eyes for 30 seconds or so.....I just smiled but didn't say a word...i kinda call it the 'God moment" . I love 'God moments" :-)He took his coloring page and left without saying a word too. I turned around and sat down on my chair, in that huge empty room ...and had tears in my eyes coz I thought...Yeah...Lord,I so wanna be like that donkey...everyday ...every minute, every second of my life....I realize that even more...whatever I do, i wanna do for you....i just wanna make sure that whatever i do, it carries You.....You get ALL the credit, ALL the glory....I'm just a donkey whose purpose is to carry you, my Christ....

I thanked God for asking me that question through that kid.....and hoped my answer reached him too. I was about to get up when i heard someone running down the hallway towards my class.....and so turned my chair toward the door....It was this same kid!

"Miss Tracy", he said.....Can I be that donkey too, or only one donkey is allowed?" he said, still panting coz he ran all the way from the other building to my classroom to ask me this. I smiled and said "Sure, you can be that donkey too. And there is room for many more...millions and zillions".....He was happy! "YES!!Even I can be that donkey! that is So coolllll " ,he shouted totally excited ,as he ran back through the hallway to catch up with the other kids........