Rachel: See? Unisex. Joey: Maybe *you* need sex. I just had it a few days ago. Rachel: No, Joey, U-N-I-sex. Joey: I wouldn't say no to that.
[When asked if he knows anything about chicks] Chandler: Fowl? No. Women?... No.
Ross: I'm sorry your husband cheated on you. Rachel: I'm sorry your wife is gay.
Chandler: I got her machine. Joey: Her answering machine? Chandler: No. Interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.
[after settling a fight between Monica and Rachel] Phoebe: Hey, if we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches.
Rachel: [walking out of the bathroom] Mon, I'm gonna to check my messages. Chandler: And you thought of that in there? Monica: Well, nature called and she wanted to see who else did.
[to Ross] Chandler: You know if your not careful, you could not get married at all this year.
Janice: Goodnight my Bing-a-ling.
[Referring to Janice] Chandler: How can I dump this woman on Valentine's Day? Joey: I don't know. You dumped her on New Year's. Chandler: Oh man. In my next life I'm comin' back as a toilet brush. [Janice enters Central Perk] Janice: [to Chandler] Hello Funny Valentine. Chandler: Hello, Just Janice.
[Chandler's trying to quit smoking] Chandler: Eww, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock in my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too. Ross: Okay, I think it's time to change someone's nicotine patch. [does so] Chandler: [deadpan] Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations? Ross: Not on the ones we sent out. Chandler: Oh, so it was on the ones, we had framed.
[advising Ross about Rachel] Joey: You waited too long and now you're in "The Friend Zone".
[Phoebe and her ex-boyfriend David meet again after a few years of being apart] Phoebe: You got a haircut. David: Yeah, well, I got like, thirty of 'em.
Chandler: I got a job in advertising. Well, not a paying job. More of an internship. But, they hire people they like. Joey: Yeah, we got interns on "Days of Our Lives". Chandler: Yeah, it's the same thing... except, less sex with you.
Joey: Hey, you know, you could always visit him. Phoebe: Oh, right, like they're going to let me have a passport?
Chandler: [taking duck out in the hallway] Now you stay out here and you think about what you did. Ross: That's a duck. Chandler: That's a bad duck.
Joey: It's just my character that's not brain-dead.
Joey: Get your sorry, non-believer ass out of my chair.
Monica: Wow. You're a really good kisser. Chandler: Well, I have kissed more than four women.
Chandler: Stay... stay. Good fake dog.
Monica: That's probably because their nerves are deadened from being so stupid.
Joey: Rach, you gotta find out if he's in the same place you are. Otherwise, it's just a moo point. Rachel: A moo point? Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo. Rachel: Have I been living with him too long or did that all just make sense?
[Chandler walks in] Joey: You know, with that goatee, you kinda look like Satan.
Joey: I'm Joey. I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films.
[Joey walks into the Central Perk coffee shop] Joey: Hey Gunther, have you seen Chandler? Gunther: I thought you were Chandler. [Joey looks disturbed] Gunther: [motioning to Chandler] Um, one of you is over there.
Chandler: I know about the baby. Monica: We have a baby? Chandler: Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash. Monica: I didn't take a pregnancy test. Chandler: Then who did? Phoebe: They're actually married. And they're gonna have a baby. Rachel: Uhuh.
[repeated line] Joey Tribbiani: How you doin'?
Rachel: Are you sure that on some level you don't want to take off my bra? Joey: I don't have another level!
Rachel: How do I ask a guy out? Joey: Well when I ask a girl out I look her up and down and say, how you doing? Rachel: ewww Joey: [Turns to Phoebe] How you doing? Phoebe: [Giggles] Just fine.
Frank Buffay Jr.: My sister's having my baby.
Rachel: Come on. You guys can pee standing up.
Chandler: You rent out these tuxes to celebrities for award shows. Rachel: Yeah. Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people screaming "Wow. You look fabulous." at them? Rachel: Honey, could I recommend watching a little bit more "ESPN" and a little less "E."?
[Rachel is furious with a noise across the hall and asks what's happening] Joey: It's the chick. She's going through some changes. Monica: What kind of changes? Chandler: The vet seems to think she becoming a rooster. [Rooster crows] Chandler: We're getting second opinion.
Monica: Is this too cute? Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts. [Silence] Monica: What? I'm not like I'm gonna put little nipples on them.
Monica: Hey. Where's Joey? Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Joey: All right they got water, orange juice, and what looks like cider. [takes a glass from the fridge] Chandler: Taste it. Joey: [drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge] Yep, it's fat. I drank fat. Chandler: Yeah, I know, I did that two minutes ago.
Chandler: [entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo] All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men.
[Chandler fights with Joey over a chair] Chandler: All right, fine, you know what? We'll both sit in the chair. [sits on Joey's lap] Chandler: I'm soooo comfortable. Joey: Me too. In fact, I think I might be a little too comfortable. Chandler: All right. [jumps up]
[Upon hearing Ross practicing the bagpipe for their wedding] Monica: Why must your family be Scottish? Chandler: Why must your family be *Ross*?
Monica: Okay. Wait-wait-wait. Shhh. [Bangs on her glass with a spoon to make a toast] Monica: Okay, umm, I just wanna say that... I love you guys so-so much and-and thank you for being here on my special night. [Chandler clears his throat] Monica: Our special night. I mean it just wouldn't be my-our-our night, if you all weren't here to celebrate with me-us-Damnit.
Monica: [chasing after him] Chandler. It happens to lots of guys. You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, don't worry about it. Chandler: [motioning with his hands] I'm not worried, I'm uh, I'm fascinated. Y'know it's like uh, Biology. Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me.
[talking about engagement presents for Monica and Chandler] Rachel: Oh, y'know what you should get 'em? One of those little uh, portable CD players. Monica: Oh, I already have one. Phoebe: Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist. Rachel: Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey.
Joey: [drinking a beer on the boat] Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. [yelling] Joey: Get out of the way jackass. [to Rachel] Joey: Who names his boat Coast Guard anyway? Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Rachel: God, this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. [shows Phoebe the picture] Rachel: And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman.
Phoebe: Hey, can we turn on the TV? I think it's raining outside.
Phoebe: Come on Ross, you're a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.
Monica: You broke a little girl's leg? Ross: I know. I feel horrible. Okay. Chandler: [reading the paper] Says here that a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night. [to Ross] Chandler: Where exactly were you around ten-ish?
Chandler: Ew, ew, ew, ew ew ew ew ew. Ugly Naked Guy got a Thighmaster.
Ross: [to his parents] Look, I, uh- I realize you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Joey: Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind. Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
Joey: Okay, some tricks of the trade. Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor, so if I'm in a scene where I have to cry, I cut a hole in my pocket, take a pair of tweezers, and just start pulling. Or ah, or, let's say I wanna convey that I've just done something evil. That would be the basic 'I have a fishhook in my eyebrow and I like it' [Does it by raising one eyebrow, and showing off the pretend fishhook] Joey: Okay, let's say I've just gotten bad news, well all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13. [looks all confused] Joey: And that's how it's done. Great soap opera acting tonight everybody, class dismissed.
Monica: This has been like my dream ever since I got my first Easy-Bake Oven and opened "Easy Monica's Bakery".
Chandler: Could you close a window? My nipples could cut glass over here. Phoebe: Really? Mine get me out of parking tickets.
Chandler: You wanna tell secrets? Okay. In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers. Ross: All right. Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-a-like contest and won. Chandler: Ross came in fourth and cried. Ross: Chandler got drunk one night and slept with the woman who cleaned our dorm. Chandler: That was you. Ross: Whatever dude. You kissed a guy.
Joey: Wow what a cool job. [Imitating the answering machine] Joey: You have two new messages. Please pass the pie.
[Ross defends his fast eating habits to Rachel] Ross: I grew up in a house with Monica, okay. If you didn't eat fast, you didn't eat.
Phoebe: [explaining to Mike's parents and friends her song] And then it goes back to the chorus, "Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault" and that's it. [pause] Phoebe: I know you didn't ask but no-one had spoken for fourteen minutes.
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times but I'm a little more than just a pretty blonde girl with an ass that won't quit.
[Upon learning he must move far away and commute to work] Ross: Why, it's like I've been given the gift of time. Chandler: That's great. Last year I got the gift of space. We should get together and make a continuum.
Monica: [about the erogenous zones] Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp. Chandler: That-that's bad? Rachel: Well if you go to Disneyland, you don't spend the whole day on the Materhorn. Chandler: Well you might if it were anything like 7.
Joey: I can't believe Ross is going out with Rachel's sister. Ya know, when Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for, like, ten years. Chandler: That was five years ago. Joey: I know. You got five more years. Chandler: Joey... Joey: You want to make it six?
[Rachel just found out her husband Barry has been cheating on her] Rachel: What is it with men? Do wedding vows mean squat to you people? Ross: Wait. Didn't you spend last night at Joey's Rachel: What are you a detective?
[Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant] Joey: Look Chandler, if this is going to work you have got to listen. Your gonna throw that juice in my face aren't ya? Chandler: It's not all juice.
[Ross and Rachel are trying to decide a name for their baby] Ross: OK, how about Ruth? Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry, are we having an 89 year old woman?
Phoebe: Charlotte? You know, with the web? She has babies, then she dies. It's like, "Hey, mom, welcome home from the hospital." THUD.
Phoebe: I think the most romantic song is the one that Elton John wrote for that guy from "who's the Boss?" Monica: Which one was that? Phoebe: You know, uh, "Hold me closer, Tony Danza...”.
Jill Green: All right, I'm leaving. Because I'm not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. That's you Rachel. Rachel: Yeah, I got that.
[Ross is trying to cheer Chandler up who won't get out of his sweatpants] Ross: C'mon man, just take 'em off, just take 'em off and we'll have some fun.
[Chandler's drunk from having jello shots] Monica: Stick out your tongue. Chandler: Take off your shirt.
Monica: Are you sure you peed on the stick right? Rachel: How many ways are there to do that?
Rachel: [after winning a hand of poker. sing-song to Ross] I have got your money, and you'll never see it, and your fly's still open [pause] Rachel: ha, I made you look.
[on thanksgiving day] Chandler: So, when's the big game gonna start? Phoebe: You don't have to do that, Ross and Joey aren't here, you can watch the parade.
[Rachel is trying to stall Monica from getting ready] Rachel: I'll just become a lesbian Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have you
Gunther: Hey buddy, this is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house.
Rachel: How do we end up with these jerks? We're good people. Monica: Maybe we're like some kind of magnets. Phoebe: I know I am. That's why I can't wear a digital watch. Monica: There's more beer right?
Phoebe: Oh, look. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his Christmas tree. Wow, you should see the size of his Christmas balls.
Joey: [to Ross] Forget about Rachel. Go to China, eat Chinese food. Chandler: Of course there they'd just call it food.
Monica: [to everybody] We have to talk. Phoebe: Oh, I'm getting a deja-vous. All right no I'm not. Monica: All right, we have to talk. Phoebe: There it is.
[about Ross being in love with Rachel] Phoebe: This is big. No this is huge. No this is like really really... all right what's bigger than huge? Joey: Uh, this? Phoebe: Yeah.
Tommy: So, you work at Bloomindales... My mom calls it Bloomies. Rachel: Yeah, ok, At ease soldier.
[Phoebe, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are trapped in Monica's bedroom] Joey: I'm hungry. Phoebe: We could eat the wax. It's organic. Chandler: Oh great, food with hair on it. Phoebe: No, not the used wax. Chandler: Because THAT would be crazy.
Joey: You think I need a new walk? Chandler: What? Joey: Well I've had the same walk since high school and you know how when a guy walks into a room and everybody takes notice. I think I need a 'take notice' walk. Chandler: Are you actually saying these words?
[All sitting around coffee table talking about their "weirdest place"] Rachel: Come on, someone go. Monica: OK, I'll go, Senior year of college on a pool table. Ross: That's my sister. Joey: OK, my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York City Public Library. Monica: Oh my God. What were YOU doing in a library? Ross: Phoebs, what about you? Phoebe: Oh... Milwaukee... well it's a really weird place. Rachel: Um... Ross? Ross: Disneyland, 1989, 'It's a Small World After All'. The ride broke down. So, Carol and I went behind a couple of those mechanical dutch children... then they fixed the ride and we were asked never to return to the Magic Kingdom. Phoebe: Oh, Rachel. Rachel: Oh come on, I already went. Monica: You did not go. Rachel: All right... oh, the foot of the bed. Ross: Step back... Joey: We have a winner.
Chandler: We loved Schteve. Schteve was schexy.
Joey: Va fa napoli.
[Rachel is upset about something] Phoebe: It's ok Pheebs. Rachel: Honey, that's your name. Phoebe: Oh. I thought that was just something we called each other.
Joey: Hey Mon, I got a question for you. Monica: Okay, for the bizillionth time, yes I see other women in the shower at the gym, and no I don't look.
Rachel: Do you know the only person who'd wanna listen to this? A mental health professional. And that's only because they get paid a hundred dollars an hour.
Phoebe: My mom used to stick her head in the oven. Actually she only did it the once, but it was pretty weird.
[At a soap opera awards show, Joey accepted an award on an absent actress' behalf]] Rachel: Joey, you can't steal an award. Joey: I'm not stealing it. I'm accepting it on her behalf. Rachel: You don't even know what behalf means. Joey: I know what it means. It's a verb. As in, I behalfing it.
Joey: Ooh-ooh-ooh. Are we opening presents? Monica: No. No. I shouldn't have even opened these. I mean I - Joey, I am out of control. Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present. Okay? Joey: Okay. Monica: Give me one more. Joey: Okay. [hands her one]
Chandler: I am an excellent secret keeper. I have kept all of out secrets. Joey: What secrets? Chandler: Oh no-no, Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper. [the girls walk away] Joey: You'll tell me later? Chandler: You already know.
Nora Bing: Hi, Chandler. This is Dennis. He's a great guy [softly] Nora Bing: and a fantastic lover. Chandler: Hello, Dennis. Thank you for pleasing my mother so.
Phoebe: Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Rachel: How long do you think, should a girl wait if a guy just broke up with his girlfriend? Phoebe: A month. Monica: Really? I'd say two or three. Joey: Half hour. Rachel: Interesting.
[Rachel doesn't take his advice] Joey: Fine. No one ever listens to me. If the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Monica: Chandler. You're smoking again? Chandler: Well, yesterday I was smoking again, and today... I'm smoking still...
Monica: So, can we still be friends and have sex? Richard: Sure, it'll just be something we do together, like racquetball.
[Chandler enters with a terrible hang-over] Monica: How ya doin'? Chandler: Well, my apartment's not there anymore because I drank it.
[talking about Ralph Lauren] Joey: I hate his underwear. one time I brought a pair marked XS and let me tell you there's no room for anything excess in there.
Ross: Hey, Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop-Tart? Pheebs? Phoebe: Does anyone want the rest of this Pop-Tart? Ross: Hey, I might.
Chandler: Rachel, it's the Visa card people. Rachel: Oh, okay. Will you take my place? Chandler: All right. [on phone] Chandler: Yes, this is Rachel.
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first paycheck. There was a cave-in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed. Monica: Wow, you - you worked in a mine? Phoebe: No, I worked in a Dairy Queen. Why?
Phoebe: There was a crooked man, who had a crooked smile, who lived in a shoe, for a... while...
Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room.
Joey: Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you. Less than a hundred steps from our place to here. Chandler: You've got waaaay too much free time.
Rachel: Ooh, I'm a man. Ooh, I have a penis. Ooh, I have to win money to exert my power over women.
Rachel: Hey Ben, you know what? When you were a baby, you and I used to do all sorts of stuff together, coz I was your daddy's girlfriend. Ben: But you're not anymore. Rachel: No, no we're not. Ben: Coz you and dad were on a break.
Monica: Joey, did you actually interview her before you asked her to move in? Joey: Of course I did. Monica: Well, what did you ask her? Joey: 'When can you move in?'.
Monica: Did you just smell my hair? Pete: No. Monica: Oh my God, you still have feelings for me, don't you? Pete: No I don't. Monica: None at all? Pete: Okay I love you, is that so wrong?
Joey: So, Monica. Still going out with Doctor Boring? Monica: He's not boring. He's just low key.
Monica: Now come on, Chandler, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really? Chandler: They were just giving it away at the mall... [Monica stares] Chandler: ...in exchange for money.
Monica: You know Phoebe, a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow down. Chandler: I thought a heart attack was nature's way of telling you to die.
Phoebe: I'm going to get a coffee. Anybody want anything? Monica: I'll have a latte. Ross: I'll have a blueberry muffin, with a decaf. Chandler: I'll have a bagel with a little... Phoebe: You know I was just being polite.
Chandler: Now, honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control... Monica: That's just another word for "lose".
[Chandler fell asleep, during Joey's movie. The credits roll, and Chandler wakes up] Chandler: Great show. Good work, Joey. Joey: You liked it? Chandler: Liked it? I loved it. Joey: What did you like best about it? Chandler: I liked... everything the whole show. Joey: What about the specifics? Chandler: Specifics? Specifics were the best part. Joey: What about the scene with the kangaroo? Chandler: I... I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic. Joey: You fell asleep. There was no kangaroo. They didn't take any of my suggestions.
Chandler: Look, when Monica comes in, mention fire trucks. Joey: Why? Chandler: There's this guy at her work that she says is the funniest guy she ever met. Joey: How could she do that? She know being funny is your thing. Chandler: I know. So could you mention fire trucks when she comes in. Joey: I don't know. I'm not too good at memorizing lines. Chandler: [sarcastically] It's a good thing you don't have to do that for a living. Joey: I know.
Monica: Rachel, you have to find Chandler's dad. Rachel: Ok, what does he look like? Monica: He's the man in the black dress. Hurry. Rachel: Ok...
Ross: Wow, Joey, that's a steamy picture. Joey: Yeah, I know. The magazine said it was for my gay fans. [winks at Ross] Ross: Why'd you wink at me? Joey: Don't look at me. You're the one who like the picture so much.
Joey: [thinking] OK, I have no feelings for Rachel. No feelings at all. She's just a friend. I mean, I might have had some feelings for her, but now they're all gone. All of them. As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever had feelings for Rachel. [Rachel walks into the room] Rachel: Hey, sweetie. Joey: [thinking] I love you.
Monica: Look, Joey feels really bad for what happened. He thinks you hate him. He wants to move to Vermont. Ross: I don't hate him. It's just... You know what, I'll go talk to him. It's not his fault. Monica: Thank you. He already asked me where he could exchange his dollars for Vermont money.
[Phoebe thinks Joey has a crush on her] Phoebe: Look, Joey, I know about your feelings. Joey: Oh, you do? Phoebe: Yeah, and I don't think it could happen. Joey: I know. I mean it's not just my friend Rachel, it's my pregnant with Ross's child friend Rachel. Phoebe: Uhh... Yeah, Rachel, I mean you two are friends. [under her breath] Phoebe: Kick me in the stomach why don't you. Joey: What? Phoebe: Nothing. You know, maybe it's just a crush, it doesn't mean you love her. Joey: You think? Phoebe: Yeah. I mean I've had them for you guys... except for Ross and Chandler. I'm sure you had them for us before, right? Joey: No, not really. Phoebe: [under her breath] Throw me a friggin' bone here, will ya?
[Monica and Chandler come back from London] Phoebe: Oh, my god. You had sex. Monica: No, we didn't. Phoebe: [to Chandler] I know YOU didn't, I'm saying she did. Phoebe: Ok, I got an idea. If it's a girl, Phoebe, naturally. And, if it's a boy... Phoebo. Ross: Uhh... Sure, but let's not limit ourselves to just one name. Rachel: Ok, I got one. If it's a girl... Sandrine. It's French. Ross: That's a great name... for an industrial solvent. Rachel: Ok, you got a better one? Ross: Yeah, check this out. If it's a boy - Darwin. Rachel: Yes, Ross, I do want a son who'll be regularly beaten in the schoolyard. Phoebe: By Sandrine.
Joey: C'mon. I got *your* secrets, I got *their* secrets; I got secrets of my own you know. Rachel: [rolling her eyes] You don't have any secrets Joey: Oh yeah? Well you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. [blushes, embarrassed]
[Rachel approaches a woman, who she thinks is Chandler's dad] Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel. And you are? Woman: Amanda. Rachel: Oh... I get it. A-man-duh.
Joey: I don't get it. Why can't we use the same toothbrush? We use the same soap. Chandler: That's different. The toothbrush has been in my mouth. Joey: OK. But next time you're in the shower, think of the first place you're washing, and the last place I washed.
Ross: I'm really going to have to settle down. I'm beginning to feel like a nomad. [Joey giggles] Ross: What's so funny? Chandler: He thought you said "gonad".
[Chandler and Joey got two lawn chairs, a chick and a duck] Chandler: Could we BE more white trash?
Chandler: Wow. What a kitchen. [looks further inside] Chandler: Slash, bathroom.
[Ross and Rachel are picking out names for their baby, and have each 5 vetoes] Ross: Curie. Rachel: Veto. Rain. Ross: Veto. Mark. Rachel: Veto. Vince. Ross: Veto. Lance. Rachel: Veto. James. Ross: Hmmm... Rachel: If it's a girl. Ross: Veto. Phoebe: Is it just me, or is Vito beginning to sound real good?
Phoebe: Observe the art of seduction. Watch, learn, and don't eat my cookie.
[Jack knows that Richard is dating a younger woman, but doesn't know that it's actually Monica] Jack Geller: Come on, tell us. Jack's friend: Yeah. Is she really 20? Richard: I'm not telling you guys anything. Jack Geller: Come on, Rich. It's my birthday, let me live vicariously. Ross: Dad, you really don't want to do that. Jack Geller: Ahh, what's a little mid-life crisis between friends? Richard: Jack, would you let it go? Jack Geller: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got my Porsche. You... you got your own speedster. Richard: Guys, seriously, it's not like that. Jack Geller: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I could... Ross: Dad, I beg you not to finish that sentence.
Monica: Did you get any sleep? Did you talk to Barry? I CAN'T STOP SMILING. Rachel: I know, it looks like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.
Chandler: All right. You guys don't have to stop having fun just 'cause I'm here. You don't have to feel bad, either. Kathy didn't cheat on all of you... [to Joey] Chandler: Well, except you.
Phoebe: What happens to the old Christmas trees? Joey: They go into the chipper. Phoebe: Why do I get the feeling that's not as happy as it sounds?
Janine: 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year. [kisses Joey] Joey: [mumbles] Oomchimawa.
